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You are here: Home >> Articles >> Are you an abuser?

September, 2004

In her book In Love and in Danger: A Teen's Guide to Breaking Free of Abusive Relationships, Barrie Levy writes:

If you are emotionally or verbally abusive, you may believe that you are also a victim.  You may believe that others cause your problems, and cause your violence.  The result is that you don't recognize that you have a problem that only you can change.  Answer the questions below.  If you answer yes to two or more of these, then you are an abuser.

Are you extremely jealous and possessive?

Do you have an explosive temper?

Do you constantly ridicule, criticize or insult your girlfriend or boyfriend?

Do you become violent when you drink and/or use drugs?

Have you broken their things or thrown things at them?

Have you hit, pushed, kicked or otherwise injured them when you were angry?

Have you threatened to hurt or kill them or someone close to them?

Have you forced them to have sex, or intimidated them so they are afraid to say no?

Have you threatened to kill yourself if they leave?

Do you make them account to you for every moment they are away from you?

Do you spy on them or call them constantly to check up on them?

Do you accuse them of seeing other guys or girls?

Excerpted from In Love and in Danger: A Teen's Guide to Breaking Free of Abusive Relationships (c) 1998 by Barrie Levy.  All rights reserved.

See also:
Myths about women and dating
Are you a victim of dating violence?
A Dozen Things Men Can Do To Stop Men's Violence Against Women
For Men: About Rape
The Mathematics of Battering
Qualities of a healthy relationship

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