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You are here: Home >> Articles >> Myths

September, 2004

Myth

 

      Reality

 

Rape is committed by crazed strangers. Most women are raped by "normal" acquaintances.

 

A woman who gets raped deserves it, especially if she agreed to go to the man's house or ride in his car. No one, male or female, deserves to be raped.  Being in a man's house or car does not mean a woman has agreed to have sex with him.

 

Women who don't fight back haven't been raped. You have been raped when you are forced to have sex against your will, whether you fight back or not.

 

If there's no gun or knife, you haven't been raped. It's rape whether the rapist uses a weapon or his fists, verbal threats, drugs or alcohol, physical isolation, your own diminished physical or mental state, or simply the weight of his body to overcome you.

 

It's not really rape if the victim isn't a virgin. Rape is rape, even if the woman isn't a virgin, even if she willingly had sex with the man before.

 

If a woman lets a man buy her dinner or pay for a movie or drinks, she owes him sex.

 

No one owes sex as a payment to anyone else, no matter how expensive the date.

 

Agreeing to kiss or neck or pet with a man means that a woman has agreed to have intercourse with him. Everyone has the right to say "no" to sexual activity, regardless of what has preceded it, and to have that "no" respected.

 

When men are sexually aroused, they need to have sex or they will get "blue balls."  Also, once they get turned on, men can't help themselves from forcing sex on a woman.

 

Men don't physically need to have sex after becoming aroused any more than women do.  Moreover, men are still able to control themselves even after becoming sexually excited.

 

Women lie about being raped, especially when they accuse men they date or other acquaintances.

 

Rape really happens -- to people you know, by people you know.

 

Excerpted from I Never Called It Rape: The Ms. Report on Recognizing, Fighting, and Surviving Date and Acquaintance Rape (c) 1988, 1994 by the Ms. Foundation for Education and Communication, Inc, and Sarah Lazin Books.  All rights reserved.

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