In her book In Love and in Danger: A Teen’s Guide to Breaking Free of Abusive Relationships, Barrie Levy writes:
If you are emotionally or verbally abusive, you may believe that you are also a victim. You may believe that others cause your problems, and cause your violence. The result is that you don’t recognize that you have a problem that only you can change. Answer the questions below. If you answer yes to two or more of these, then you are an abuser.
|Are you extremely jealous and possessive?
|Do you have an explosive temper?
|Do you constantly ridicule, criticize or insult your girlfriend or boyfriend?
|Do you become violent when you drink and/or use drugs?
|Have you broken their things or thrown things at them?
|Have you hit, pushed, kicked or otherwise injured them when you were angry?
|Have you threatened to hurt or kill them or someone close to them?
|Have you forced them to have sex, or intimidated them so they are afraid to say no?
|Have you threatened to kill yourself if they leave?
|Do you make them account to you for every moment they are away from you?
|Do you spy on them or call them constantly to check up on them?
|Do you accuse them of seeing other guys or girls?
Excerpted from In Love and in Danger: A Teen’s Guide to Breaking Free of Abusive Relationships (c) 1998 by Barrie Levy. All rights reserved.